MIA

Is it really only Wednesday? It feels like this week has been two weeks long already. My computer is still dead, so I’m relying only on my husband’s laptop and my iPhone for now. Hopefully we’ll be back up and running soon. I’m really hoping that it’s not going to mean that I lose a lot of my precious photos, but thank goodness for Flickr since I have so many saved there.

But the big thing this week was my mom. Mom was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, and went in on Tuesday morning for a kidney biopsy. It was super scary for everyone as there were complications that could arise, but we all felt at peace with her doctors and with the plan at hand. To be honest, I was really scared. Mom is never sick. She’s always the one who has it pulled together. If any one of us were sick, she’d be the first one there to take care of us. And sometimes, you just want your mom, you know? So it’s hard for her to be the one who really needs some help right now.  I’ve been on edge for days, snapping unnecessarily at Simon or Jude and then bursting into tears. Dramatic? Yeah. But I’m being honest with myself about how I feel: I was scared.

Me, Chrysi, & Mom in 2002

Me, Chrysi, & Mom in 2002

Things went well, though. She spent the night at the hospital and was really good about being on a brief 24-hour bedrest. I’m so proud of her. She’s so strong — one tough cookie, my mom! And the weird thing is, despite the fact that we have different autoimmune diseases, she and I are both taking similar medication. So I hope that to some extent I can be encouraging?

Mom, I love you. I know these past few weeks have been so very tough. I know what it’s like to be frustrated with not feeling good and waiting for a diagnosis. And I know it’s not fun to be in the hospital and be poked and prodded. You were so brave and so very strong, and we are all proud of you. We would do anything to help you!

Tonight I went for a bike ride to clear my head. BSF was really good this week and it was talking about complaining and how God feels about complaints. The Israelites were complaining so much about their situation in the desert, even though God had brought them through so many big events. They were lacking perspective. God’s anger boiled over at them when they started complaining (again) and he burned up the outskirts of the camp in a holy fire. Moses was sick of hearing them complain and so was God. I definitely lack perspective sometimes and my family has to remind me of that. I thought about all the things that I’m grateful for, like my sweet family and our beautiful little house.

As I rode on the bike, I passed by our little swan lake that’s hidden away in the middle of the neighborhood, like a surprise gem when you come around the corner. There are two swans that swim there and I could hear them, honking to each other in the darkness. I could barely make them out, two little white blobs in the watery distance. They are so beautiful but their voices are surprisingly harsh, like the swan equivalent of speaking German. Still there they are together, mated for life.

I hope everyone is having a great week. Hopefully I’ll be back up and running like normal soon. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can get my computer back soon!

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